Have you ever....

Have you ever hit the ground running as soon as your eyes creeped open in the morning? I mean one of those "skip every thought of routine and just survive" type of mornings? How about being so busy changing diapers, giving baths, getting kiddos fed, playing outside, etc. that you haven't fed yourself or even stopped to go to the bathroom? A few hours later, you realize what has happened and that your about to claim that you're helping potty train and aren't fully potty trained yourself. On your way to waddling to the bathroom you glance in the mirror to see horrible raccoon eyes from being too lazy to take off yesterday's eye makeup. You replay the morning in your brain hoping there were no neighbors outside to see you looking so atrocious. Even if you are rarely worried about "looking good," you are still concern that whomever has seen you prior to this glance in the mirror now thinks you have completely let yourself go.

Have you ever been swinging on the swing set next to your 2 year old, being careful not to break anything and he shouts "mommy, what's that sound? The swing is broken!" Only to realize he is hearing the horrific screeching of the chain of the swing you are oh so carefully swaying back and forth on. Thanks for the reality check, son, that I am not a child anymore nor do I weigh the amount of a small child or the weight-limit of the swing set. I WAS BEING CAREFUL AND ONLY TRYING TO AMUSE YOUR REQUEST FOR MOMMY TO SWING WITH YOU!!!

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried because you go downstairs to get yourself a nice cold beverage only to come back upstairs and find your 2 year old with NO clothes on and an infant elephant towel on his head? He may have been screaming something like "I'M ELEPHANT MAN, MOMMY!" Seriously, that would be hysterical.

An edited version for your viewing

Have you ever smelled a horrible smell in your car only to find a soured cup of milk under the back seat. Who knows how long it could have been there! I'm sure the smell might be strong enough to gag even the person with the strongest stomach and gag reflux.

Have you ever changed a diaper that you literally think out loud, "WHAT DID THIS CHILD EAT?" when you have seen every piece of food that has been placed in his mouth! Hmm...

These are, of course, rhetorical questions for you today. They also may or may not have been some of my activities from today...all before 2 p.m.